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Stories of Changed Lives

"Staff pointed out that I was a very angry person whilst on the programme and, I felt at that point, justifiably so."
Billy's Story

"My social worker told me that, although he doesn't believe in God or in miracles, when he sees me he sees a miracle!"
Mike's Story

"If you follow the programme properly, it will help you…”
Shaun's Story

Billy's Story

"When I was a resident on the Yeldall Manor Programme, staff pointed out that I was a very angry person and, I felt, justifiably so.

"I was teased throughout my childhood, and several sexual intrusions upon me by older people added to my anger and anxieties. Being an alcoholic, my Dad made life unpredictable and unstable. Growing up like this gave me a distorted view of others and myself. I felt confused and imprisoned in my pain of rejection.

"By 14, I had appeared before the Children's Panel several times and had stopped going to school because of bullying. I escaped into a fantasy world of football and became increasingly dependent on alcohol and gambling on fruit machines.

"I left home at 16 and carried on the same way, with the addition of sexual promiscuity, increasing measures of petty crime and the misuse of various substances. I ended up in prison several times. Periodically, I determined that 'enough was enough' and attempted to stop drinking and taking drugs but usually only when I ran out of money, felt physically ill or had done something terrible.

"At 27, after a period of homelessness, I decided that enough really was enough. My life was going nowhere so I chose to end it. I was taking anti-depressants and, finishing the course of pills in one go washed down with beer, I went to sleep for what I thought would be the last time. To my astonishment, I woke up 15 hours later.

"Unbeknown to me, this was to be the starting point of my recovery. After recovering from the overdose, I went to a hostel in Swindon, where some Christians befriended me. In desperation, I asked Jesus into my life and, over the last 13 years, experienced a gradual surrender to God, which involved several rehabs and led me to Yeldall Manor in 2003/4. Despite its trials, this was a rewarding and positive time.

"I've gradually released situations and events of my life back to God, and still experience healing for myself, grace to forgive those who've hurt me in the past as well as forgiveness for my wrongdoings.

"After my time at Yeldall Manor as a resident, I wanted to give something back to God and became a volunteer for a year. I found it challenging and exciting to see God changing the lives of men who have struggled in the same way as me. Wherever God leads me next, I want to continue offering hope and impacting people's lives for the better."

Mike's Story

From his teens, alcohol was Mike's refuge - from grief over his father's early death, from severe loneliness and low self-worth. It was also a lubricant, "a couple of pints gave me all the self-confidence and self-esteem I had previously lacked."

Although life improved when he met and married June, Mike's drinking continued. "With anxiety and depression as well as the drink, I hurt my wife very badly and, sadly, I cannot ever repay this time as she died in 1998."

After his wife's death, Mike's drinking spiralled out of control. "There was no enjoyment; I was just desperately trying to suppress my feelings of grief, bitterness and anger.

"I was drinking several bottles a day to keep me going. I used alcohol to get to sleep and to stay awake. People often think of alcoholics as men on park benches with a bottle beside them. My park bench was the sofa.

"At the beginning of 2000, I nearly died due to alcohol. Strangely, after all the times I felt I wanted to die, I now wanted to live. I attempted to get to the phone but couldn't, so I just prayed for help. My prayer was heard as several minutes later my mother arrived, let herself in and called an ambulance.

"After being released from hospital, my social worker told me about Yeldall Manor. I arrived there in May 2000 and, as soon as I got there, I sensed God's presence.

"By taking away alcohol, I lost my comfort, my strength, my courage and support. I realised that only God could fill this big hole in my life, so I let Him in. Whatever I need, He provides. Life isn't always easy, but whenever I'm struggling emotionally or physically, He provides what I'm lacking.

"The social worker who referred me to Yeldall Manor told me when I completed the programme that, although he doesn't believe in God or in miracles, when he sees me he sees a miracle!"

"After completing the programme, I knew that I didn't want to go back into working with computers; I wanted to do something with a purpose, preferably God's purpose. I now work at a Christian project working with vulnerable people in the Earls Court area of London. This has been a huge challenge, but I really enjoy the opportunity to share something of my faith and hope to others who are feeling as desperate as I once was."

Shaun's Story

"For the first three years of my life, I was given away to my mum’s older sister. This felt like a huge rejection for me. Growing up I had a very low opinion of myself and felt unloved by my parents.

"When I started school, I found it hard to be left alone. Mum would take me to school and I would cling to her for dear life because I didn’t want to leave her again. I used to get teased and was always picked last for sports teams.

"At secondary school, I started hanging around with the wrong sort of people. Where I lived it was normal to get drunk and go out fighting in gangs. Deep down, my conscience told me I shouldn’t be doing this, but I did it to fit in with the crowd. It was the same when I got into drugs. I started smoking cigarettes, then drinking, smoking cannabis and then heroin, again just to feel part of the crowd.

"Next I was introduced to crack cocaine, which blanked out all the pain in my life. It was like I had a void in myself and needed something to get rid of it. I was injecting crack and heroin for around fifteen years. You can imagine the chaos I was in - I was barely seven stone, I wouldn’t eat at all. I would just get up and go shoplifting to get money for drugs. That was my routine, day in day out. Finally, I just broke down in tears in a police cell. I just wanted to kill myself; I couldn’t go on like that anymore.

"Eventually I went to detox and then a Salvation Army hostel before coming to Yeldall Manor in April 2004. I began to get my life back. It’s a difficult programme and, when I was there, there were some residents who weren't taking it seriously, but you need to be selfish in a way and just get on with what you need to do. If you follow the programme properly, it will help you. While I was at Yeldall I got baptised, having become a Christian whilst I was at the Salvation Army.

"I've now got a job in landscape gardening and am part of a church where I feel really loved. It’s been a hard path but God has worked miracles to get me where I am today – clean from drugs."